January 20, 2007

• i saw an author talking about heaven on television a while back; maybe in the last three weeks?  maybe salman rushdie?  anyway, whoever it was, he was talking about heaven in a religious (though, i think generally so) sense, and he said that, in the presence of the creator, or something to that effect i think, there could be no inducement to artistic expression of any kind; because, he said, artistic expression can only arise out of what boiled down to desire, and that such a thing as desire could never occur, as all desires would, by definition, have been (or maybe go on in a continuous state of being) fulfilled. 

  okay, so i'm pretty far removed, chronologically speaking, from having viewed that particular interview; but i think i've more or less captured the crux of what the guy was saying.  but, yeah; there's a lot of my own nonsense flying around in the above.  anyways.

  anyways, i remember living through a time during which i'd felt all my desire for artistic expression disappear.  it was a while ago now, but the impression was very clear to me at the time, and it remains.  only, now, so far removed from those times, i find my desire to create is still heavily diminished.  i'm filled with unfulfilled desires; changes that i'd like to see encouraged, if never actually to completion.  you'd think the writing would just pour right out of me...

  at least, this way, life is bearable.  it's the loss of all desire while still stuck here on earth that really kinda sucks.  after going through that, just getting the unfulfilled desires back feels pretty damn good, unfulfilled and all; like knowing you're still alive, if that makes any sense.

  • 11:07 pm
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