April 20, 2006

• it appears that caffeine has become something of a necessity to the
  proper function of my brain, and hence, daily life.  even now,
  cloaked in this mysterious thing called "vacation," a vague shadow of
  freedom if anything worth noting, i cannot seem to imagine going on
  with the day in a conscious stance without the supplementation of
  freshly brewed coffees. 

  cigarettes will be the end of me; i can't seem to rid my fingers of
  them, they keep appearing like a magician's props.  sometimes,
  when i'm sleeping, something will labor my breath, and i'll wake later
  from nightmares of running from shadowy fears.  and while i wage
  the war to remain awake during the day, i am constantly beset by
  seductive views of the unmade bed, of the ever inviting futon, numbered
  though her days here may be.

  having thrown myself to the four corners of manhattan only to come home
  whole, i find myself perilously balanced on the support of not much
  more than a few, clumsy addictions, the freedom to sleep, and a good
  book--all to the constant backbeat of the television.  there's the
  outside world; but i've had so much of that lately, and of such a novel
  flavor, that what i can get at here just doesn't appeal.  maybe
  once i've lost free access to it once more...

  • 4:37 pm
  • 3 Comments